Merry Christmas!

For a little reminder of the Reason for the Season watch:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNQpnoLmZ7A

Empathy

Here's a good article I came across last week. Short and sweet.

I also listened to a lecture by Craig Hart, a BYU MFHD professor, who summed up a lot of his research on parenting/discipline and how it is reflected in the child's social interactions (i.e. if you use intimidation/guilt your child is more likely to be the queen bee and "mean girl" type of person, etc.).

I remember my own experience of being bullied in 4th Grade when I changed schools. I'd cry into my pillow at night quite often. Besides the verbal assaults leveled against me, I can still remember a boy spitting in my face. That being said, there were a couple other kids who had it far worse than me and I remember a group of kids kicking or pushing this one boy in particular. Often. I've often regretted not doing something to stop them and have since written him an apology. But let's be honest, my own sense of self worth was a bit low at that point.

I hope my kids are never the one to throw verbal or physical punches at someone. And so I begin my journey to help them discover EMPATHY . . .

How Parenting with Emotional Intelligence Can Weaken Bullying

December 8, 2010

by Keyuri Joshi of "On the Ball Parenting Blog"

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Somewhere out there is Laura. I don’t know anything about her except that she wrote this poignant poem titled “I Am”. The poem has been used in anti bullying campaigns around the world, and today I’d like to share it with you.

I AM

I am the person you bullied in school
I am the one who didn’t know how to be cool
I am the person you alienated
I am the person you ridiculed and hated

I am the person who sat on their own
I am the person who walked home alone
I am the person you scared every day
I am the person who had nothing to say

I am the person with hurt in their eyes
I am the person you never saw cry
I am the person living alone with their fears
I am the person destroyed by their peers

I am the person who drowned in your scorn
I am the person who wished they hadn’t been born
I am the person whose name you don’t know
I am the person who just can’t let go

I am the person destroyed for ‘fun’
I am the person, but not the only one
I am the person who had feelings too
..and I am a person, JUST LIKE YOU!!!

This poem evokes immense empathy by the preponderance of those who read it. The dictionary defines empathy as“understanding” or “a deep emotional understanding of another’s feelings or problems”. Having researched the value of emotional and social intelligence (ESI) skills in our youth, I can tell you that development of empathy as a key competency renders positive results for personal satisfaction and healthy relationships. Though some believe that empathy is innate, I’m with the majority and believe that empathy can, and should be, taught to children at the earliest cognitive opportunity. I envision empathy as a tool for carving out a kinder world in which there is diminished bullying and a population of children that is happier to the core. Reading this poem with your kids and creating dialogue of what it must be like to be a bullied person is one approach to create awareness and fruitful action, but we need more.

Please contribute to our comments section and share your positive ideas or rewarding personal stories on how we, as a community can increase empathy to decrease bullying of any kind. Then, consider sharing the article with anyone and everyone you know who can make a difference at home and beyond. Ask them to participate too. It does take a village!

Keyuri Joshi RN, MSN, is a Certified Parenting and Emotional Intelligence Coach. A “personal trainer” for parents, Keyuri assists moms or dads build and use a toolbox to achieve any goals they desire. She also teaches parents to build emotional and social intelligence skills in children. These are research proven “must have” skills which schools do not teach."

http://www.mamapedia.com/voices/how-parenting-with-emotional-intelligence-can-weaken-bullying

5K

So this year I got back into running.

It's been awhile.

I used to run for exercise in college, but that was Forever ago, and since then I would just do the elliptical and think "ugh" about lacing on some running shoes. Not to mention the knee problems (overuse injuries) I always encountered due to trying to jump back into it too fast.

SO, Let me tell you about this awesome program that can get you off the couch, GRADUALLY, and into shape: Couch to 5K

Mauri, me, and Lisa - Oct. 5K

And a book that will inspire you to run: Born to Run by Christopher McDougall and challenge the way you think about this exercise.

When I started back into things in March, I ran for time--a treadmill kept me on track. I made my goal a Race in May for a skin cancer, since that has affected me personally.

Then, I realized the benefit of the gym we go to where I can drop my kids off and take my cell phone with and run on the trails OUTside! There are some awesome hills that I would try to run weekly as a goal. So much more fun than a treadmill! It is way easier than it sounds with starting out alternating running and walking for 20 minutes 3 times a week.

I grew to LOVE my time outside by myself running through the trees, listening to whatever inspiring music (or nature) I cared to. I could choose to run along a river, by some woods, or in a gorgeous historic neighborhood.

I ran my first 5K in May. Never done a long distance race before. I was more a sprint person as a teenager. Then, another one two weeks later. My final one was this fall on October 30th, after running all summer. It was awesome. You can't tell from the picture but it was cold enough to see our breath when we started out that morning. My time improved by over 2 1/2 minutes! That is amazing to me. I am still a beginner, but I feel so empowered and discovered the fun in running again.

Here's to running in the future! It is harder in the winter now that I am having to retreat indoors. But I have read up on winter running, and may brave the sub-freezing temperatures on of these days to get my outdoor solace back.

So, try it. I dare ya.

You may even join me on one of my barefoot runs come this summer. ;)

Birthday Season

Growing up, it seemed Spring time was birthday season my family. But me and the girls have ours all in the fall. And between those, back to school stuff, and the fun holidays, it is a BUSY time. Especially now that I'm the mom doing the birthday stuff. I can totally understand why we had an every-other-year friends' birthday party policy. They are So fun and So exhausting.

Here's some highlights from B's Princess and Prince/Knight Party:

It was a success in every way!